Child Adolescence

The limits in your child adolescence

To get proper education of children is necessary to establish rules and limits from birth, which will be modified and flexible over the years and the growth of the child.

The main objective of the limits is to ensure the safety and health of the child, but also aim to stabilize and provide a certain order and structure in the daily dynamics and to bring a sense of life consistent. Moreover, the limits help in building the personality of the child or adolescent, as they involve the development of aspects such as the will, tolerance for frustration, the postponement of satisfaction, taking into account the rights of others, etc.

Since the start to set limits is normal for the child, in turn, try to obstruct them. This inherent conflict appears natural and evolutionary process. Over the years, and more especially in adolescence, is normal also increased questioning of the rules and limits by the boy. The adolescent needs to question the model proposed by their parents and that is part of their development and the progressive development of their personality.

How do you set boundaries in child adolescent?

It is important to set limits only on those issues that he feels are important. It is preferable that there are few limits, well defined and in which they can maintain a consistency to the establishment of many ambiguous or variable limits, which would lead to confusion and lose their usefulness.

Before transmitting the limits to children, it is important that parents have agreed and are convinced about what they will ask the children.

At the same time, parents should be decided in advance and mutually agreed to consider the consequences that your child does not meet a certain threshold or standard by communicating to the child.

It is advisable to apply the consequences if a rule are logical skip or have any relationship with the foul made (for example, may be directed to the restoration of the damage caused to skip it). They must also be proportionate to the offense made as large consequences if applied to small faults, short of procedures when there are more serious offenses. Punishments are not advisable where it is neither intended that the child would suffer or feel humiliated, nor the application of excessive punishment in proportion to the fouled as these facts transmitted fear and insecurity in the child and will miss the initial target intended with the limits.

You have to express appreciation and gratitude when the child behaves as he has been asked and has respected a rule or limit that had been proposed (for example, if you come home at the agreed time).

Once a limit is necessary to keep it, being constant over time and consistent, because if applied arbitrarily create confusion. A child needs to feel that their parents know what they ask and what you're allowed and also to pass it safely. At the same time a child will continue to emphasize and oppose a rule more likely if they perceive that their parents are not willing to budge.

The mood should be affectionate and cordial. Set a limit voltage does not have to assume, yelling or aggression, or should be seen as a threat or punishment. Nor is it advisable to get into arguments or power struggles with their children or losing control to them.

It is necessary to promote good communication, being flexible and willing to review the validity of the limits with the passage of time and the progress of the child (especially those related to the arrival time at home, bedtime, etc.). It is useful to allow the boy, especially from adolescence involved when setting new standards or new terms are agreed upon, and that this fact will give you the opportunity to learn to negotiate and, in turn, will be easier than it is involved and take responsibility in meeting them.

Parents should be valid models for children to follow. It is advisable to ask something to a child that either parent is unable or unwilling to comply (e.g. you cannot ask do not shout if a parent usually does regularly).